Pelosi Rides Again!

The Saga of Nancy Pelosi continues. Lately, she’s had to take cover from all those mean conservatives who are claiming quite justifiably that she’s been lying about her knowledge (make that intimate knowledge) of the enhanced interrogation procedures used by the CIA and other intelligence organizations vis-à-vis those glorious terrorists, whose greatest claim to fame is the indiscriminate murder of defenseless women and children…like dogs in the street. Add that to her colossal gaffe a while back when she talked about 500 million Americans losing their jobs, presumably absent the stimulus package, whatever it is. No one actually seems to know, but most folks know that the entire population of the country is only 300 million, counting the babies and schoolchildren about to be thrown out of work.

So, what does a poor girl do in the face of such persistent criticism? After all, she was either speaker or the ranking member of the appropriate House committees involved in the Congressional briefings, of which there have been about 40 since hostilities began in 2001, according to one source. But, she’s been totally, absolutely out of the loop and (horrors!) just didn’t know what was going on. Oh yeah…she DID hear that the methods had been declared (erroneously, of course) legal by the lawyers in the Bush administration. In her press conference of 14 May, she insisted that her main job was to get a democrat Congress and a democrat president elected in order to get the awful torture stopped. Oh…how the gulag gang at Guantanamo must love her!

But to get back to what a poor girl must do under such unfair pressure from even her own party colleagues…okay, some of them can’t stand her and would love to have her job, anyway. Ever since she took the gavel in 2007 and announced that the House was now in the hands of a GRANDMOTHER who would straighten it out, the guys have resented her and the gals just hate her guts, especially the grandmother-Congressperson-types who won’t even tell their ages and have a different color hair every week to go along with a tuck or two here or there, making a smile very carefully achieved, else a broken face.

She took the weekend off and went off on a short vacation, ordering up a United States Air Force plane for an excursion to – where else – Baghdad, glorious in May, with side-trips to Amman, Jordan, and Qatar. Oh…she just had to confer with those folks in Baghdad about whether or not the pullout of troops is on schedule, and Qatar-by-the-sea in springtime is just the antidote for handling Congressional pressure.

Hillary will hate Pelosi, of course, because she didn’t come back extolling her bravery in running for her life in Baghdad and dodging those awful snipers, like Hillary said repeatedly last year that she had to do in Bosnia in 1998, only to have pictures spread all over the Internet showing her being met (the snipers must have given up) by a schoolgirl with a bouquet for her-then-Highness, and the president of the country. How terribly dull, but look at what Hillary got in return for that magnificent LIE – Secretary of State! So…Pelosi may be on to something…maybe a SCOTUS nomination, always worth a good lie or two.

Ah well… it gets better for the prevaricating Pelosi. Her round trip, including the side trips, covered some 15,000 or so miles. At an average speed of 500 mph, this meant about 30 hours worth of flying, or just 10 times as much as used up by that Air Force One promo-trip around New York City that cost $328,835 back in April. This means that Pelosi’s grand weekend adventure cost the U.S. taxpayers $3,288,350 just for transportation, not to mention the onboard goodies and whatever other extra-curricular activities were involved.

It gets even better, especially considering the (gasp and three palpitations of the spleen) imminent death of the earth caused by CO2. If she used a 747, the amount of CO2 emissions for one passenger on the trip was 5,384 poisonous pounds poured into the fragile atmosphere, according to one online calculator. No passenger list (actually no “passengers,” just hardworking aides) has been provided. Did she take her very own hair-stylist? Hillary would have. Her very own chef? Hillary would have. She needs to come clean…there may have been lobbyists on the plane…oh, forbear such a travesty upon the speaker’s office!

The world is safer now because Grandmother Pelosi has swung her weight toward making sure that the schedule for the end of 2011 – 2011!!! – is being obeyed. She would have, of course, also told those generals and even Iraqi Prez al-Maliki that they’d just better not torture anyone, else she would have them sand-boarded, the opposite of that painful water-boarding, which means that it would be like taking off into la-la-land, never mind all that blood. EGAD!!!!