Odom/Hefner/Media Sleaze

Hold the presses, everyone, and get the cameras ready all you TV-news gals, because the big news every day for a week is about to have an update, a cause for rejoicing throughout the cosmos in every venue between heaven and hell! LAMAR ODOM MAY LIVE AFTER ALL!

Something like the above is indicative of just how mired in trivia and shallowness this country has become. Oh yes...there's another big news-item that has made the headlines every day lately and caused the off-the-shoulder TV-gals to tremble in ecstasy, not to mention the guys...PLAYBOY is through with nude pictures! Is the nation about to have a (gasp) REVIVAL over that swing away from the obscene?

Poor Lamar (former NBA star)! He coughed up $75,000 for a weekend at the—get this—LOVE RANCH (euphemism for whorehouse) to spend with two gals over the weekend, fortified himself with enough erectile-dysfunction medicine to last for a month (the directions say to be careful—heart attack risk—see a doc if erection lasts FOUR HOURS) so he could keep the babes occupied 24/7 or until he gave up the ghost, whichever came first. The ghost almost came first and might yet have the ghoulish last laugh.

Lamar apparently fortified himself with other stuff to guarantee a degree of ecstasy never before known to mankind. He seemed determined to make the frat-house boys seem like pikers...maybe even Bill Cosby, who was still roaring at advanced ages but has escaped jail so far though the gals keep climbing out of the woodwork to cash in as the lawyers salivate and Cosby's wife furnishes the media accolades of his goodness, preserved for only the likes of Michael the Archangel.

The girls got worried when blood started streaming from here and there and froth began oozing from Odom's mouth and called 911, else he might have oozed on down the drain right there at the LOVE-HOLE, otherwise known as a PIMP'S PARADISE, catering to the rich whore-mongers. When the media got hold of the terrible tragedy, Odom was made to look like a saint about to be taking the first steps toward canonization.

Lamar had other problems like the fact that he was helicopter-challenged. The local machine in the town of Pahrump (not kidding) was not big enough to accommodate Odom's 6'10'' frame so he had to be content in the nearest hospital, where he lingered for days between life and death and doctors throughout the country wondered how he managed to outdo the effects of uber-exotic-ecstasy...or maybe whether or not he ever bothered to read the directions.

As for Hugh Hefner, the Playboy progenitor, one might say that his selling of women for huge profits ranks among the rankest enterprises. He's had no change of heart even though Playboy has lost millions of readers. No...he came to the conclusion that the Internet afforded him too much competition, pictures of lewdness available to people of all ages—Face-book, iTunes, Twitter—at all times...and for nothing—FREE! The media is full of the ramifications every day, everything from Internet-rape to Internet-unmentionable.

The strangest thing is that no one seems to mention that none of this lurid stuff would be possible if there were no women to make it so. The proprietor of the LOVE RANCH is no guiltier than the gal who sells her body. Both are in it for the money. Both are dishonorable to the nth degree, as are Odom and Hefner.

I hope Odom gets well. I don't care if Hefner's outfit burns to the ground. But I hope I've seen and heard the last about both of these sleazebags. Neither is worth a centimeter of print or a mini-second of TV time. Men still come home from the desert with limbs blown off or blind or paralyzed but they go quietly to some hospital without a mention while the media gushes over scum. Disgusting!

And so it goes.
Jim Clark