Obama vs. Climate

Get a good grip on the seat or lean against something sturdy lest you fall on your face upon noticing this front-page headline accompanying a New York Times article of 20 May in the Lexington Herald-Leader: Obama preparing big push to combat climate change. This means, of course, that he who would bring CHANGE has decided exactly what the climate is supposed to be now, that it’s broken and in need of repair…and he’s just the guy to get it done.

For anyone else, this would be suffocatingly funny but for the dear leader it’s just business as usual, all in a day’s speech somewhere or other and a quick 18 holes to loosen up and face the next big challenge, like how to deal with Assad now that the squirrelly Syrian has solidified his presidency, and his ally, Russia’s Putin, has told Obamessiah to take a hike…or maybe do another 18 holes.

Barack Hussein told the pesky Assad to get outta Dodge over two years ago but he’s still in Damascus, never mind that Senator McCain has recently done a photo-op with the enemy leader (picked out the Muslim Sunni with the worst accent and biggest beard) over in Lebanon. McCain was on the scene as the self-appointed proxy State Secretary. Poor SoS John Kerry is vacationing somewhere else these days and looking presidential (he wishes).

Heather Zichal, White House Coordinator for Energy & Climate Change (ho-hum, another czar…or czaress?), said that Obamessiah is serious about making climate change a second-term priority. Well, of course! It couldn’t be a third-term thing, now could it? Whoa…is she implying a possible push for a Constitutional amendment granting the Savior of the world another try? Stay tuned.

Heather also said combating the climate is a “legacy issue,” doubtlessly making it front-burner, full-steam-ahead, top-of-the-list important. Imagine the BIG-O Presidential Museum of the future (Harvard, maybe?) with an exhibit showing how Obamessiah wrestled the climate away from God and turned it into an automatic green-watering-machine on the finest golf course in Kenya.

The WHCfE&CC said the deed would be done by getting those pesky pollutants from those wicked power-plants out of the air. She indicated that the Environmental Protection Agency would do the deed, using its own authority. She didn’t explain how the EPA would make the world’s by-far worst polluters, China and India, comply with Obama’s directives, so one snickers a bit and thinks of the ultimatum given Assad.

Actually, Russia and China might like the climate just like it is…maybe even warmer, especially in Russia’s and China’s north, in which case they would outvote India, which might like Obama to get things quintessentially refrigerated so the Ganges might turn to ice part of the year and not stink of all those spiritual baths in celebration of the cow.

Give the president credit for having the self-confidence to take on hard tasks. One wonders why he didn’t do something to stop the ravages of Hurricane Sandy last year, the result of global-warming, of course, but…hey, this is a “legacy issue” now so New Jersey and Coney Island can just suck it up and quit complaining. Help will happen next time, after Obama has fought the climate and won, legacy assured. Rev-up the snow-plows, Floridians!

The best scientists have been admitting/insisting for some time that the global-warming thing has been a gigantic hoax, notwithstanding the president’s earth-shaking Nobel Peace Prize statement to the contrary in 2009, when the hugely advertised climate convention in Denmark was completely annihilated as the proof of the hoax dribbled out and the UN was made out to be a monstrous deceiver.

The scientists are also admitting/insisting that greenhouse gases made by people have no effect on the climate, either. Notwithstanding this, in his Berlin speech on the nineteenth Obama said the U.S. and [incidentally] the world had a moral imperative to take bold action to slow the warming of the planet, such warming having been absent for the last 15 or so years, with, according to the science gurus, no warming expected in the near future.

To unmistakably make his point in Berlin, Obama (gasp) removed his coat right smack in the middle of his learned exposition and even invited folks in the crowd to do the same. This leads one to wonder how the prez will conquer the climate. The Israelites blew their trumpets back in the day and the walls of Jericho fell right down. Before that, God made a great wind upon the Red Sea, dividing it so that the Israelites could cross on dry land.

Maybe this is a clue as to how the dear leader can conquer the climate. Perhaps the collective effect (exceedingly hot air) of Obama’s plethora of speeches will scald the climate into immediate surrender or agreeing to at least a small Ice Age. Stay tuned.