How the Grunch Stole Boston


In the land of the nattering nabobs, effete
Snobs and poor working slobs, there are
Quadrennial quorums quantified and qualified
As political-party palaver-parties for the
Purpose of promulgating propaganda and
Promise-propelled platforms for potential
Presidential potentates to propound to the
People the purposes they should possess and
Parse in picking the primary potentate known
As the GRUNCH.

Now gobs of mobs of slobs, snobs and nabobs
Gleefully gather in these gabfests to expend the
Enrichments of expense accounts in what are
Known as campaign crunch-pits, where
They holler themselves hoarse and wallow
Themselves warm, worn, and wobbly to
Wangle whatever they will, since the GRUNCH
Wannabe has already been picked in the
Previous polling of the Primaries.

The two major menageries of manipulators are
Monikered as the Democrats and Republicans.
In the year 2004, the democrats, labeled by the
Republicans as devious, demonic, delirious,
Dumb, divisive and deep into dereliction and
Depravity, quartered their quarrelsome quorum
In Boston, known for its beans, brains, buffoons,
Baseball and basketball, and democratic-dominated
Governance said by some to be garnished with
Graft, green-backed greed, and other governmental
Gratuities parlayed to preserve politicians and
Other criminal collaborators/conspirators.

Sir John the Kerrian had already pocketed the
Primary polls by promising the penultimate in
Programs and perks, but quantified his quorum
Qualities by his miraculous and meritorious military
Machinations and medals in a wearisome war he
Waged wherein he won Purple Hearts parlayed into
Posting home, with pain so serious as to succumb
Only to the blandishments and balm of band-aids.

The republicans, labeled by the democrats as rich,
Repulsive, regressive, reactionary, repressive,
Rabidly religious, recidivist Reaganites, quarantined
Their quirky quadrennial quota in New York City,
Known as the Big Apple and featuring the Jets and
Mets, Yanks and cranks, booze and the Bowery and
A population peopled by pilgrims pining for
Paradise or perdition. Known also for its perennial
Phalanxes of protestors parading for a plethora of
Purposes ranging from the righteous to the rapacious
To the ridiculous, it was ravished with wackos and
Quackos for the big bash to celebrate Sir George the
Bushite, who was the sitting GRUNCH, a quixotic
Cowboy guaranteed to galvanize the garrulous,
Gullible gaggle of GOPers into frenzies of festivals
For finagling finances and forging finality for
Four further federal-flings.

The pollsters, prognosticators had prophesied the
Kerrian would clobber the cowboy, come November
Numbering of the next nabob to grab the Grunchhood.
Sir John blew through Boston like Revere rode into
Beantown and demos dissolved in delight. They
Jived in July and feasted four days and nattered
Through four nights of numbness. The Kerrian was
Crowned and election confirmed and the whole
Conflab termed as a coup.

The repubs took note how Sir John planned the
Vote, with medals and ribbons and such, and so
They bore back to the peculiar past and pored over
Kerrian ploys. The valorous vet when vamoosed
From Viet orated olfactory offerings so odorous,
Offending, so odious, also, condemning his
Comrades and colleagues. "Atrocious," said John,
"And awesomely awful," his comrades he
Claimed as crude criminals, who cut off some ears,
Raised fears through ten years, and piled all the
Paddies with bodies. He strutted the streets in
Paroxysms of protest, threw medals and ribbons
Away.

And so the repubs read the reality that Sir John had
Aided, abetted the Viets of Cong, and that he was
Quite wrong, and did so with comrades still dying.
Sir George said to forge a simplistic scheme to
Saturate status with silence and just let the record
Ring out loud and long, and put the kibosh on the
Kerrian.