From the office of the chairman, 01 January 2011
***Congratulations to all staffers who volunteered freely in various offices of the Congress in the interest of making the lame-duck session a huge success. As a result, the DNC is setting-up a new monthly award to go along with its other award, known as the “Pin the Elephant Tail to the Wall Award” for the best suggestion on how to spin any public statement by a republican into a lie. The new award will be called the “Do Ask, Do Tell Award” and will be awarded to the staffer who most convincingly makes homosexual behavior the norm, no matter the creed (or none) or the ethnicity. Caution: The case must be made in writing or in a traditional speech but never as a show-and-tell exercise…not even in San Francisco. Also, any staffer who participates in a Gay Pride Parade is not to in any way indicate his/her/its connection to the DNC.
***The new approach to be taken in seminars regarding the health-care and other laws is that of executive order as applied under the laws, which means that most anything goes, at least as long as the proper attorney general is in place, such as now. The key-word is “regulation,” and the key White House go-to- person is Cass Sunstein, the Regulatory Czar. The so-called “death panels” have been officially okayed through executive order, the main element of which is that physicians will now be paid under Medicare to suggest once-a-year to old codgers who have been hanging around too long that the time has come for them to do their patriotic duty. Mr. Sunstein’s department will make the rules for the doctors, lest some of them forget and suggest a Cat-Scan, MRI, or other expensive procedure, including such things as the installing of new knees or repairing various organs. Since doctors might have to make home-visits to carry out the plan, they will be paid an appropriate fee for their time and all expenses – not bad if the patient has moved to Florida. The rumor is $500-per-hour, plane fare and hotel/beach costs.
***The appeal has been made by the White House for suggestions regarding the state-of-the-union address to be made soon. Recognizing the latest figures comparing U.S. public-school efforts to those of other nations, the speech is to be couched in terms premised on or under the sixth-grade reading level. Things not to be mentioned are the unemployment rate, death panels, bonuses allowed the Wall Street operatives by the president, the November election-catastrophe, and the president’s smoking, said lately by Press Secretary Glibs…make that Gibbs (little joke there) to be non-existent, meaning that Marlboros remain in force. Things to be mentioned are obesity, the first lady’s diets (at least the ones for others), republican insensitivities to the old, the homeless, global warming (do not refer to Cancun), and any good cause such as health-care. Be very innovative but terms like “ogre” or “troll” are not acceptable. Also, the president has decided not to berate the SCOTUS this year, since Justice Alito’s head-shaking last year hurt the president in November because huge population-segments, as shown by the polls, figured the president spoke in error. In any case, former law professors from Chicago are automatically suspect, especially if they express opinions or do not first consult presidential confidant and Chicago law professor Bernardine Dohrn of Weather Underground fame.
***The Senate probably will not take up the energy problem in the new Congress since the House, which had already approved the so-called cap-and-trade bill in 2009 without reading it, was rather overwhelmingly captured by the republicans in November, meaning that the subject has become moot. The president, having already promised in 2008 to make electricity costs skyrocket in order to save the earth from manmade global warming, has not given up the effort to make that happen. He made his play (as they say in the Western movies) at Copenhagen last year and Cancun this year (folks nearly froze) with the result amounting to zilch. The White House has requested a red/yellow/black/white paper explaining the need for the U.S. to pay hard cash to third-world and fourth-world countries to compensate them for making them too hot. They will be submitted to Van Jones, San Francisco’s most highly acclaimed communist, former White House functionary (czar for turning the world green) and now a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress, for evaluation. The winner will get to use a Zapino electric scooter for a month, good for 30 miles per charge unless traffic is heavy, in which case a pair of roller skates is stored by the batteries.
***Take heart at the beginning of the New Year. Vice President Biden has already made it plain that the rich WILL get soaked two years from now when the dems take back the House and hold the Senate (ABC’s Good Morning, America). He also indicated that it’s only a matter of time until same-sex marriage is approved, so the homosexual vote is practically guaranteed. The Marriage Act of 1998 presents a problem, not to mention the majority of state constitutions, but executive order is now the ruling factor and states-rights mean nothing to the progressives now running the government, so look for innovative actions concerning the introduction/approval of bigamy and incest as post-modern sophisticated social engineering takes hold. The nation has been back-woodsy for too long and now must catch-up with the rest of the civilized world.