The Cure


The emotional trauma undergone by multitudes, according to the media, as a result of Kerry's losing the election is, besides being well documented, a trigger for an especially American-type hilarity. One can just see those in the Hollywood crowd, for instance, jostling each other for passports, visas, and requests for political asylum in other countries, the South of France being the favorite, of course, i.e., if there are no Muslims there looking for easy money earned through kidnappings, beheadings, or claiming a fatwa by some Iranian ayatollah ordering death (a la Rushdie) with regard to all Americans. Then, of course, there's the lanky John Wayne-type celebrity who vows to stand and fight, who has a platform, and, of course, lots of money to waste, sort of like Soros and his millions. To him is the following dedicated:

He once had this quaint aspiration,
Though some thought it mere aberration,
To think as a repub -
Someone like the Dub,
Whose choice brought him deep aggravation.

A friend said repub revelation
For mind-set and reeducation
Starts best with a cat
Kicked into the hat
And dropped into deep excavation.

Another said repubs are vicious,
In all ways always avaricious,
And often start wars
To even old scores,
Of all democrats quite suspicious.

Admittedly with reservation
He conquered a short hesitation
And snuffed out the cat
Interred in the hat
And suddenly felt gross elation.

So now he had real degradation,
Enough that he could rule the nation -
Nader evader,
Rove-like a trader
Of morals in each new equation.

He messaged the democrats daily,
Appeared on talk shows rather gaily
To put out the word
Repubs are absurd,
So proved since their leader is Yale-y.

One night his poor phone cracked with thunder,
John Kerry condemned his huge blunder,
His Yale Skull-and-Bones
Meant top I-Q zones
That Hollywood types are all under.

He ranted of things purple-hearted,
With none of his medals had parted,
Was saved with band-aids
On enemy raids
That he would have ordered not started.

The star was completely despondent
And thought suicide quite respondent,
But then thought again
Perhaps he could win -
Joined repubs he once thought abhorrent.