NFL's Latest Obscenity!

“Twerking” Now Acceptable

Football will soon take over the sports-scene. Assuming that the NFL hierarchy actually does endorse more celebrating after the end of nearly every down played and enhanced exponentially after a score, as currently reported on the NFL web-site, one concludes that desperation has set-in vis-à-vis getting the fans’ minds off the constantly increasing carnage connected to the game, magnified in especially recent years with the intensive reporting concerning brain concussions as well as other injuries.  

This is in addition to the testimonies of players, current as well as former, who have described in print and on TV the effects and recovery-durations of these injuries, especially the concussions, which are indisputably connected by the medical community to such things as behavior and ailments such as Alzheimers.  Concussions are okay for prizefighters since the objective of the actually-non-sport boxer is to kill the other guy by bashing out his brains, notwithstanding the high-flown rhetoric otherwise.  If this were not the case, boxers would wear headgear, not that such would be of significant help.

The latest celebration craze is something called “twerking,” described in the Urban Dictionary as “the rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in one's intended audience.” The first time I noticed it being performed was courtesy of Carolina quarterback Cam Newton after he had scored a touchdown. He just leaned back, spread his knees, and rotated his crotch to everyone next to the end-zone and, more importantly, watching via TV. In man-circles (like the military), twerking is exhibited by simulating masturbation.

Twerking has different levels, “three-pump-twerking” (use your imagination) being a no-no but fewer “pumps” seem okay. The NBA features celebrations, also, a practice introduced by black players as they have taken over much of the sports-world, though I haven't noticed twerking in basketball, but then I don't watch the NBA—terribly boring. In the NFL, celebrations happen after nearly every play, especially if a player is knocked into the middle of next week and struggles to arise if at all. After making a tackle, the perpetrator is likely to do a “crotch-hop” (use your imagination) or run ten yards toward the opposite goal so everyone won't mistake his act of heroism.

Taunting the opponent is also big, especially if he has been reasonably discombobulated from reality or, better, has to be carried off the field on a stretcher, conscious or not. Taunting is more noticeable in basketball since it can be heard by the spectators, much nearer the action, which now is characterized mainly by physical assault on the “enemy,” a good elbow-to-the-nose shot, for instance, in a game with no protective gear and supposed to exhibit skill and finesse but now is more like kick-and-box. Players, many if not most of whom can reach the rim have only 24 seconds to get off a shot so the fans will not get bored actually watching some finesse rather than knock-down-drag-out and slam-dunk.

NFL Head Honcho Goodell explained that the players wanted to have more fun after a big play, as if having a big play was not satisfying enough to millionaire players, who if they manage their wages after a normal tenure in the game should not have to work again. Baloney! It was just his way of affirming that football is no longer a sport primarily but a rather sanguinary form of entertainment. Remember the “bounty-hunter-affair” of a few seasons ago when New Orleans players were paid bonuses to inflict appropriate injuries upon opponents, especially quarterbacks, in the interest of removing them from the Sunday afternoon carnage.

But the white folks love the entertainment, too, just as multitudes of youngsters have adopted sleazy-lyrics “rap” as the music of the day, some guy mouthing obscenities to the accompaniment of African bongos or other pulsating gadgets. For comparison, check out baseball, where celebrations (fun stuff) are done in the out-of-sight dugout and consist mostly of high-fives. The crowd might as well be in Lower Slobbovia. Latinos are slowly taking over the game and make the “sign of the cross” after just hitting a single, much less a home run, which NFL-wise would be at least a hernia-risking two-pump-twerk at home-plate.

And so it goes.
Jim Clark